Nearly twenty years ago, during our first lecture on Introduction to Philosophy, we, young students, were told that certainty does not exist. There are no certainties in a person’s life. The only thing that is certain is change. For a young person, already lost and confused, this is a difficult concept to grasp and, most importantly, to understand, though its confirmation is experienced every day, despite everything. Some of us are able to realize that everything is subject to change earlier, others later, and some never do. I remember how long I played with this idea, but only when a significant change affected me did I truly understand it – mostly because I felt it, sometimes down to the bone.
The second, more sophisticated thought that still keeps me up at night is the statement – every change “hurts.” It doesn’t matter whether the change is for our benefit, a wanted change, or an unexpected, painful one. All changes indicate a shift into the unknown and a departure from what is familiar and comfortable. Some of us seek out changes because it makes us feel alive, while others avoid them, preferring the safety of the known. Whether we’re fans of the first or second group, life doesn’t ask for our opinion or preferences – it just hits. Sometimes unexpectedly, and very painfully. It is said that we face things in life that we are ready to handle. But how can we prepare for the loss of a loved one, the loss of our health, or the loss of a job that made us feel needed? These things are not taught anywhere, because if they were, we would all be living as one happy and content humanity.
What we can learn, however, is our emotional attitude toward the change in question. The feeling we direct toward the occurring change is key to our future outlook. When we go through phases of anger, resistance, and despair, which are important for our internal shift, we can decide how things will progress. Why? Because we always have the option of choice – at least mentally, and that is the most important.
A few days ago, I was lying on the cold bathroom floor, crying, and begging for an explanation of what had happened to me. I was trying to get answers from God or the universe, but to no avail. They must be introverts because, rather than providing answers, they demonstrate their existence through actions.
In my deepest moment of despair, a thought came to me: I always have the option of choice, and it is up to me how everything will unfold. And that is very relieving. If we take a positive approach to the change, meaning we accept it and do not resist it, we will later look back on it with different feelings. However, if we remain lying on the cold floor, we won’t move forward. Some changes are inevitable, others are voluntary, but none of them are easy. I know how they can confuse the mind and break the heart. Nevertheless, nearly every change is important for our growth; without them, we wouldn’t be able to develop. Even though it sometimes hurts like hell.
So, let us cry, get angry, complain, laugh hysterically, lie on cold floors, but never forget that we always have the choice to change our perspective and attitude.